I had wanted to help myself and turn over a new leaf. Told my mom many times too, when she visited me at the prison, that I would stop doing evil and using drugs. However, not long after my release, like a dog that returned to its vomit, I got back to my sinful lifestyle again (Proverbs 26:11). Could not keep what I had promised my mother at all. Life was so meaningless and hopeless then. That was the kind of world I lived in. I was literally living in darkness. There was no peace nor happiness at all.
Upon release from my last imprisonment, I thought I could really change myself and start a new life. But in less than two weeks, I was ‘hooked’ on drugs again, and was selling them. I was working in a night club, earning lots of tips on top of my monthly salary, drinking free X.O. and brandy every night, and attached to a night club lady. Enjoying such prodigal living, who would want to give up?
However, one day, God turned every thing in my life upside down. Many major drug dealers were caught. I could not get any heroin for personal consumption, not to speak of selling. I stayed at home, shivering day and night, having high fever, dared not even touch water. That took me five days before I could get over. And because of drugs, I created lots of problems at the night club and my girlfriend left me too. Every thing in my life was turning against me. It was like the end of the world to me. No more work. No more money. No more girlfriend. And besides these, I was awaiting to enter prison for the crime I had committed not long ago. Was there anymore hope for me? Wasn’t it better to curse God and die?
Had been thinking so much during that time, wanting to get married and start my own family, like any other people. But, I asked myself, “Who would marry a drug addict? Who would love someone, without work and money like me?” The thought of robbing the bank came to my mind, thinking that after robbing the bank, I could keep the money in a secret place, go to prison for a few years, and after release, at least I could still have a sum of money to marry and do what I want to do. However, thank God that before my ‘dream’ could be fulfilled, God had taken hold of my life. Isn’t it true that man’s disappointment is God’s appointment? The Bible says, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). Praise the Lord!
Seeing my plight, my older brother told me to seek help at The Helping Hand, a Christian organization that helps the drug addicts to get rid of their drug addiction by the transforming power of Jesus Christ. Not knowing yet that God had a higher hand in this, thinking that since there was no better way for me to choose, why not just made use of The Helping Hand to help me get rid of my drug addiction and then ran away after that. That was my original plan when I first stepped into The Helping Hand. That morning, I went searching for more sleeping pills, swallowing as many as I could before seeking entrance. Got locked up in a room for five days and nights going through my drug withdrawer, before I was finally allowed to come out for a walk. I was still struggling to leave that place, but God was merciful to me. I could see a difference in the lives of the residents there. I really wanted to have a new life like them.
Combating every day with myself to stay on for just one reason: to personally experience the change in my life that only God could do. I knew that it was God who made the difference in the lives of the people there and I wanted to experience the difference myself in my own life. By that time, I realized that only the living and true God could help a wretched man like me. I knew that if I wanted to know God, I must know the Bible and pray. Being not so educated, I made it a point to get up earlier every morning to spend time knowing God, reading the Bible. It was not easy for someone like me who dislike study, to be consistent in waking up early to do reading and pray. It is unlike staying awake to watch video-show throughout the night which is much more easier. But, the LORD helped me. Slowly but steadily, God worked in my life till His love constrained me and He opened my heart to believe in Him.
Upon release from my last imprisonment, I thought I could really change myself and start a new life. But in less than two weeks, I was ‘hooked’ on drugs again, and was selling them. I was working in a night club, earning lots of tips on top of my monthly salary, drinking free X.O. and brandy every night, and attached to a night club lady. Enjoying such prodigal living, who would want to give up?
However, one day, God turned every thing in my life upside down. Many major drug dealers were caught. I could not get any heroin for personal consumption, not to speak of selling. I stayed at home, shivering day and night, having high fever, dared not even touch water. That took me five days before I could get over. And because of drugs, I created lots of problems at the night club and my girlfriend left me too. Every thing in my life was turning against me. It was like the end of the world to me. No more work. No more money. No more girlfriend. And besides these, I was awaiting to enter prison for the crime I had committed not long ago. Was there anymore hope for me? Wasn’t it better to curse God and die?
Had been thinking so much during that time, wanting to get married and start my own family, like any other people. But, I asked myself, “Who would marry a drug addict? Who would love someone, without work and money like me?” The thought of robbing the bank came to my mind, thinking that after robbing the bank, I could keep the money in a secret place, go to prison for a few years, and after release, at least I could still have a sum of money to marry and do what I want to do. However, thank God that before my ‘dream’ could be fulfilled, God had taken hold of my life. Isn’t it true that man’s disappointment is God’s appointment? The Bible says, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). Praise the Lord!
Seeing my plight, my older brother told me to seek help at The Helping Hand, a Christian organization that helps the drug addicts to get rid of their drug addiction by the transforming power of Jesus Christ. Not knowing yet that God had a higher hand in this, thinking that since there was no better way for me to choose, why not just made use of The Helping Hand to help me get rid of my drug addiction and then ran away after that. That was my original plan when I first stepped into The Helping Hand. That morning, I went searching for more sleeping pills, swallowing as many as I could before seeking entrance. Got locked up in a room for five days and nights going through my drug withdrawer, before I was finally allowed to come out for a walk. I was still struggling to leave that place, but God was merciful to me. I could see a difference in the lives of the residents there. I really wanted to have a new life like them.
Combating every day with myself to stay on for just one reason: to personally experience the change in my life that only God could do. I knew that it was God who made the difference in the lives of the people there and I wanted to experience the difference myself in my own life. By that time, I realized that only the living and true God could help a wretched man like me. I knew that if I wanted to know God, I must know the Bible and pray. Being not so educated, I made it a point to get up earlier every morning to spend time knowing God, reading the Bible. It was not easy for someone like me who dislike study, to be consistent in waking up early to do reading and pray. It is unlike staying awake to watch video-show throughout the night which is much more easier. But, the LORD helped me. Slowly but steadily, God worked in my life till His love constrained me and He opened my heart to believe in Him.
In retrospect, thank God for His mercy on me, in delivering me from drug addiction and the bondage of sins. I had tried to change myself but the change was short-lived. Neither could my mother’s love win my heart. It was God and God alone Who had caused the transformation in my life. It was all because of God, that my life’s journey was changed, from wandering in the darkness of sin, to the straight and narrow way of the marvelous light of Christ, serving the only living and true God and our Saviour Jesus Christ. I knew that my life belong to Him and I must offer my life to Him, to live for Him and serve Him with the remaining years that He has for me. “For the love of Christ constrains us… that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves but unto Him Who died for them and rose again” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
God then opened a way for me to study at the Far Eastern Bible College, training me for the ministry that He had prepared for me. In 1998, during the school vacation, I was invited by a fellow college student (who is now my beloved wife) to join her for an outreach to one of the unreached Red Lahu villages in northern Thailand, where God laid heavily upon my heart a burden for this particular group of people thereafter. After our graduation from FEBC, in year 2000, together with our five months old son Evangel, my wife and I launched out to the mission field, to minister among the Red Lahu hill-tribe. One year later, God blessed us with another child, Evangeline.
Life and ministry was not easy then when we first started out, just to name some: I could not speak the language of the natives; Dara has to be my interpreter all the time; she was also expecting Evangeline, going through and enduring all the morning sicknesses (feeling nausea and vomiting) especially during our weekly travel to and fro Chiang Mai city and Den Luang Red Lahu village (150 k.m. away); Evangel was still a baby then; both Dara and me had to take turns carrying Evangel in our arms while serving; then came the arrival of Evangeline; both of us had to carry one child each while serving... Looking back, I would say that God was teaching us to trust Him wholeheartedly and to rely upon Him fully for strength to do His will. God was very close to us and had enabled us to do the work that He had entrusted us to do. Indeed, His grace is more than sufficient for us, for His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Yes, in all these, we are more than conquerors through Him Who loves us (Romans 8:37).
The first Lord’s day upon our arrival, we gathered together some of our friends and love-ones for worship in Chiang Mai, and that was how our church, the Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church was started. Two years later, we witnessed the ushering in of the first 16 members into the fellowship of the church. God is so good! In the subsequent years, many more souls were baptised and added into the membership of our church. Isn’t it very true that the Bible say, “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy” (Psalm 126:5)? “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Another part of our ministry involves reaching out particularly to the deserted Red Lahu children in the village, by providing a place of shelter for them where they could call their home. These children and youths came from broken families, and some are orphans. Till date, there are 30 souls whom the LORD has brought into our extended family – The Christian Home of Love. They sleep, work, eat, play and study with us. They do not have to pay any money to come in. We took them in with the purpose of helping them, showing them God’s love and sharing God’s blessings with them. “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God” (2 Corinthians 3:5). The Lord is always good. He has faithfully provided all our needs, even though our daily expenses grow higher as our family grows ‘bigger’. The Bible says, “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want [lack] any good thing” (Psalm 34:10). Truly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want [lack]” (Psalm 23:1).
We treat all the children staying with us as our adopted children. Every day, we teach them the Word of God, praying that when they grow up, they would not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). By the grace of God, they have come to embrace faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. What greater joy could there be but to see them turning away from their sins to worship the living and true God. “Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents” (Luke 15:10). Praise the LORD! “The Lord knoweth them that are His” (2 Timothy 2:19). We are reminded that the Word of God “shall not return unto [Him] void, but it shall accomplish that which [He] please[s], and it shall prosper in the thing whereto [He] sent it” (Isaiah 55:11), for the gospel of Christ “is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believes” (Rom 1:16). Let us therefore be faithful to “preach the word; be instant in season, out of season” (2 Timothy 4:2).
Our God is gracious. He has not given up the Thais and the Red Lahus. The joy of seeing how the light of the glorious gospel of Christ shining in the hearts of these people, giving them a new and living hope, is indeed indescribable. It is such a blessing to serve the living and true God! All glory to God!
